Relationships: Judgement, Resentment, and Forgiveness

I am sure many of you have had a friend, who once you were so close to and then all of a sudden, something happens and your relationship is falling apart and the only feeling you have for that person is resentment. Oh what a strong word. Say your friend says something bad about you behind your back, or that your friend swooped in on that cute boy you wanted to get to know, or you just don't like the way they are acting lately, should you cut that friend off? My advice is no.

So many times I see the tweet along the lines of: DON'T PUT EFFORT INTO THOSE WHO DON'T PUT EFFORT INTO YOU. I always want to reply: CONTINUE TO PERSUE. LOVING PEOPLE NEVER HURT ANYONE. Although this tweet can be relatable for many, there is an exception. I think that people mix up people's character with their intentions. My pastor has preached this phrase many times and I absolutely adore it: Don't judge people by their actions, judge them by their intentions.

Judgement

I think we can all admit that we gossip. I think that the main topic of our gossip time is "Wow can you believe that Sally would say that about Leslie?!" (of course this is a less-harsh version of what girls say about each other). We talk about how mean someone is because we want to feel like nicer, better people than that person. But doesn't that make us the opposite? We mistake peoples actions for their intentions. Sally is us. We are Sally. Does that make sense? I know this might be very confusing but listen to this: everybody is trying to make it in this world. Be slow to judge because you do not hear the full story across the lunch room table. Be the person who says "I think Sally is a very nice gal." Lift each other up. And when you see Sally, don't give her a dirty look. Be kind. We all have feelings and the best thing to do is to believe that everyone has good intentions.

Resentment & Forgiveness

Going back to forgiveness... when you find out someone has done something terrible to you that really hurt your feelings, breathe. The anger and resentment you might feel is out of the roof. You feel let down by one of your closest friends. "How could they do that to me?" "I am never talking to them again." "How will I ever trust them again?" Then by impulse you delete all of your Instagram pictures together and never speak to each other again. I have heard of this story many times with friends whose friendships end abruptly and one of them doesn't even know why. THERE IS TIME TO FIX BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS. Talk about things. Show love and compassion for each other!! Understand the other person's stance on the situation. Do not give up on that relationship. This will help so much in the forgiving process. It is so sad to see friends who were once "best friends" not even acknowledge each other in the hall. Contrary to that, some friendships aren't meant to last. Sometimes people don't get along as well as they used to and things just grow old. THAT'S OKAY. But that doesn't mean you should go and talk about all of the bad things that person has ever done to you. LET IT GO and be kind. Smile at that old friend in the hallway, ask her how life is every once in awhile. There is always time to forgive. Jesus forgives us every day for our sins. Forgiveness is not an excuse. "Oh I can talk about Sally because I'm forgiven." Another analogy my pastor uses to talk about forgiveness is when someone trips you and you fall on the floor and they say "sorry". The next day they do it again, and say "oops, sorry." This continues to happen for a week. ARE THEY REALLY SORRY? Probably not. Change those bad habits. There is time and you are a forgiven Child of God. :)

This verse explains my views on relationships and forgiveness perfectly: BEAR with each other and forgive one another if any one of you has grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13

With Love,

Kels