Back to the Basics

HELLO BLOG PALS!!!

me & my cutie roommate that i ADORE, katie leffers, ILY

long long LONG time no see, and I hate to say this but it is solely because I have been the most unmotivated, discouraged WOMAN ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET! yes i said it!! soOooOo, I'm a college gal now!!! WHOOO! super exciting y'all!!! and yes it most certainly is... to some extent. MAN, am I overwhelmed with this new life!!! school, new relationships, keeping up with my family's life at home, a long distance relationship with my man (shout out J. Miller!!!) it has all been so drastically different from the life I knew!! keep reading if u dare... MWaaAaHaAaHA!! (sorry, fresh outta spooky szn!!!)

Remembering who God is & seeing yourself THROUGH the hard seasons
referring to my post about being vulnerable, I am going to be completely honest. I have never felt more lost and far away from God in my life!!! and boy, does it hurt! I feel numb, and not like myself. I'm sure those of you reading can relate entirely, and I want to be someone who you can truthfully relate to in this season of life. I also am excited for my future self to look back on this post and say "you made it through, Kels." Something important to recognize while you are in a pit of sorrow, pain, and suffering is how constant God's love is. He has not left or abandoned you, although it may seem like that is EXACTLY the case. But the truth is, the SAME God who has given you great JOY in the past, is the SAME God who is sitting with you in this pit of depression. The SAME God who sent His sweet, life-giving son to set us free from any worry, or anxiousness is the SAME God who hears our silent cries to Him. Hebrews 13:8 says "Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever."

I have had so much trouble putting my thoughts and feelings into words this past week, and that is KILLING ME! so i decided to just start writing!!! because writing words comes so much easier to me. While I was writing, what God reminded me of was, He knows my thoughts & heart better than anyone else. He is weeping with me. He is NOT absent, although it sure does feel like it!!! I can just cry to God, I can literally just say, "Jesus" and BELIEVE there will be rest, and there is a rainbow representing God's faithfulness through this storm even if it is so hard to see those beautiful colors in this moment. I read this verse this morning about deliverance that spoke to me because it is short and simple: just how I like it. Psalm 107:6- "Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress." YOU WILL BE DELIVERED.

the hard truth is, there will be plenty of storms in our future. It's inevitable. I'm actually incredibly thankful for this time in my life right now because it is teaching me to see who I will be after this struggle, celebrating being out of this SLUMP, and rejoicing in the new life Jesus gives. I encourage anyone in the same place as me right now to remember this verse: (and special thanks to my friend Morgs who reminded me of this truth who specially holds this verse close to her heart)
Romans 8:18- "The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."

Back to the Basics
One of the main reasons I feel uneasy about life, is because being at IU, makes me compare myself to everyone around me. Their perfect college party photos, perfectly ordered dorm room (while I have a laundry basket full of clothes BEGGING me to fold and put away) and cords all tangled up, sort up like my mind, ehh? hahaha. anyway I have started to compare myself to everyone!! Their clothes, their faith walks, their ability to speak so fluently in discussion, their pure intelligence. But the thing God has placed on my heart is that I don't have to be anything more for anyone, even Him, which is the most amazing. I don't need to have my life even PERCEIVED to be put together. and that makes me human, that shows vulnerability and a NEED for something BIGGER than who I am in this world. It also allows you to make unlikely friends along the way. :) when i get caught up in ALL these things, I have to draw myself back to the basics meaning remembering the simple faith that sets us free. The simple surrender that we can give to God every morning. The simple FACT that He loves us & wants every part of us. The simple fact that He can do INCREDIBLE things with just a mustard seed of faith. people, THINGS DON'T HAVE TO BE COMPLICATED. rest & trust. that verse you have heard a billion times is one you should hold closest to your heart because it has to do with every aspect of your life: Proverbs 3:5- Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Reading the rest of Psalm 3 is so relieving & I highly encourage anyone to read and truly understand the wisdom of this passage. all in all, the most important thing I am learning about faith though this pain, is the perseverance that is building within me. The growth of faith that is growing within me because of the joy I have from Jesus.
I am resting in the simple fact that God LOVES me. and He is using me and you right now, even if we don't see that clearly.

don't think so much, people. SMILE. today is today and today is a good one.

chow for now... i realize i said chow and its bc i haven't had lunch... hehehe.